Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
