Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
My ass is underappreciated
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
