Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize
