He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
