question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
