after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
did i just pee glitter
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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