I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
