The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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