she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
