God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
