i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize