So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
