normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
