it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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