i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
