Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
