i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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