But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Boobs are out for the taking
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
