I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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