Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
