I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
