Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
