That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
