Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
