I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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