Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
