I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
