we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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