Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
