love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
