He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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