Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
