I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
