we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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