I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
