i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
