There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
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