I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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