My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
