ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize