Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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