ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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