Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
