Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Everyone says I win the strip club
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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