Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
