Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
