just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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