you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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