she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
