so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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