I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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