I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
