Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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