I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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