I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
