How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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