Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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