whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
