hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
