you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize