It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
