I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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