I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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