At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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