I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
