I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
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