I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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