We won't sleep together?
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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