Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Just cropdusted the office
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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