do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize