so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize