hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
