I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
