So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
